Dakota Fanning

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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minorities.....

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops