A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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8===D

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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