Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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