What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i lost the game

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

test

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

david weres the slug gone

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bad grammers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops