What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

L's I's that took Viagra.

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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