You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops