There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops