Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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