Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a jew walks out of a furnace

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is black and white and red all over? Micheal Jackson being torchured

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

long in the tooth!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops