Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops