What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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Joke

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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