What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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hello

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops