A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

thumb_up thumb_down +15

these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Ding dong.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Xbox One

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops