Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a disabled man takes a walk in a park

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

thumb_up thumb_down -27

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops