Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

This is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A sober Irish individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops