Roses are red, Violets are violet

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Why did it die Nothing died

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops