Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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how man

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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This statement is false.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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