Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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