Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Skrillex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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