How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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baloney sandwich

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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kk

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops