Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If youre African, why are you white?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops