What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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