What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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