Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

100 chefs walk into a bar

knock knock whos there your mother open the door

What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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