What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

heat!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your text.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops