Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

thumb_up thumb_down +33

24

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops