- Anti Joke

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

cancer

Penis.

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

your brother so fine that hes skinney

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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