roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -33

1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops