one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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Here is the worst joke ever. ..... Dislike this and you are awesome!! P.S. I'm serious. I want to make a joke with the MOST DISLIKES ever! Don't think this is reverse psychology. I don't do that shi*t.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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