Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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Hail Heetluh

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops