An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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#Hanging Degus

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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96

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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sorry got to poo

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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