Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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