What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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