The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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