roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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