Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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