Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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that krista chich from the below joke accepted me as a friend, then she blocked me. haha WOW, she realy is a bitch.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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I'm hungry.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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NAACP

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Why couldn't the rich dumbass get into colledge? He couldn't open the door

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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