Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Choir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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