Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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