Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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And more;

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What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops