Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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balls

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops