You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops