What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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