what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Barbara Streisand

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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