A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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