What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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Derp

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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My kids are mistakes.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Female Orgasms

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops