Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

The global news

silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

The lion swallowed his pride.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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