the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Women's Professional _________

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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