two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

charlie sheen losing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops