Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Your mama's so stupid because she has down syndrome.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Do you like apples? Yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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HURT

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops